Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
