I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
