I hope mine doesn't look like that
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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