Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's blow job season.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
