every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
