i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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