he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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