I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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