absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
