I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
