is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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