i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
