I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
