Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
