you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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