if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
