"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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