the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
