My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
