I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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