Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
