Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
