totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
