i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
