I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
