Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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