Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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