I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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