Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
