nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
