ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize