Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
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