Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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