someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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