WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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