He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
