Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
