Cold hands, warm shart.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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