I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
