Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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