When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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