Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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