My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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