Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I AM VODKA MAN
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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