time to smoke my breakfast
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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