we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize