At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize