there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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