uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm really busy with my period
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