Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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