We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
