It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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