yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
