it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i think we sleep fucked last night...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
