been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
