party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
