I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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