I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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