Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
