i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
